{"id":8958,"date":"2022-05-05T18:18:44","date_gmt":"2022-05-06T01:18:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/?p=8958"},"modified":"2022-05-07T16:08:14","modified_gmt":"2022-05-07T23:08:14","slug":"review-if-you-want-me-close-skye-kilaen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/2022\/05\/05\/review-if-you-want-me-close-skye-kilaen\/","title":{"rendered":"Review: If You Want Me Close &#8211; Skye Kilaen"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"bookreview\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/60094261._SY475_.jpg?w=1280\" alt=\"Review: If You Want Me Close &#8211; Skye Kilaen\" title=\"Review: If You Want Me Close &#8211; Skye Kilaen\" class=\"ubb-cover-image alignright\"><strong>If You Want Me Close<\/strong><br>by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/authors\/skye-kilaen\/\">Skye Kilaen<\/a> <br><strong>Publisher:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/publishers\/self-published\/\">Self-Published<\/a> <br><strong>Publication Date:<\/strong> May 10, 2022 <br><strong>Genres:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/genres\/romance\/\">Romance<\/a> <br><strong>Pages:<\/strong> 249 <br><strong>Source:<\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/sources\/book-sirens\/\">Book Sirens<\/a> <br><br><p>I received this book for free from Book Sirens in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.<\/p>My rating: <span class=\"ubb-buy\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/llama-40.png?fit=31%2C40&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"One Star\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/llama-40.png?fit=31%2C40&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"One Star\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/llama-40.png?fit=31%2C40&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"One Star\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/llama-40.png?fit=31%2C40&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"One Star\"><\/span><br><br><br><blockquote class=\"ubb-synopsis\"><p><b>Falling in love with your best friend is wonderful\u2026 until tragedy means fighting for the romance <i>and<\/i> the friendship.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Bisexual event coordinator Simon Novotny thrives on connection. He cherishes his large, queer-friendly family and his friends\u2014especially his cute, brilliant work bestie, gay IT geek Ziah Holdaway.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s taken forever for Simon to to coax Ziah out of his shell. Time and again people have let him down, especially those who should have loved him unconditionally. But Simon would do anything for Ziah: text him jokes when he's down, bring him homemade lunches, change his tire in the rain. Heck, if Ziah needs a kidney, Simon\u2019s got two.<\/p>\n<p>Minor crush? Maybe, but Simon\u2019s not a make-the-first-move kind of guy. So when an unplanned hookup with Ziah proves their chemistry is off the charts, it also shakes Simon to his core. Because for Ziah, it's not casual, it's love.<\/p>\n<p>Before Simon can fully process his feelings, a life-altering tragedy upends Ziah's world. Simon throws himself into helping and also rallies his family. But for Ziah, family means rejection, and Simon's uber-helpful clan sets off major alarm bells.<\/p>\n<p>Can they find a middle path through the storm, or will this crisis cost them both their romance and their friendship?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote><center><span class=\"ubb-buy\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B09QY1DG3L\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/amazon.png?w=1280\" alt=\"Amazon\"><\/a><\/span><\/center><center><a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/book\/show\/60094261-if-you-want-me-close\" target=\"_blank\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/widget_logo.gif?w=1280\" alt=\"Goodreads\"><\/a><br><\/center><center><p class=\"ubb-buy\"><div class=\"ubb-icon-tags\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/book-tags\/4stars\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"80\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/categories_0000s_0003_4-stars.png?fit=80%2C100&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"4 stars icon\" \/><\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/book-tags\/contemporary\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"140\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/categories_0000s_0007_contemporary.png?fit=140%2C100&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"contemporary icon\" \/><\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/book-tags\/m-m\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"80\" height=\"102\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/categories_0000s_0005_m_m.png?fit=80%2C102&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"categories_m_m\" \/><\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/reviews\/book-tags\/romance\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"82\" height=\"100\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/categories_0000s_0017_romance.png?fit=82%2C100&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-full size-full\" alt=\"romance icon\" \/><\/a><\/div><\/p><\/div><\/center><br>\t\t<script type=\"application\/ld+json\">\n{\n\t\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\n\t\"@type\":\"Review\",\n\t\"datePublished\": \"2022-05-06T01:18:44+00:00\",\n\t\"description\": \"\\r\\nIf it's a new Skye Kilaen, you know I'm going to read it! While this is set in Austin (and there's a brief mention of Knockdown), it's not part of that series. What it is is lovely and emotiona\",\n\t\"publisher\": {\n\t\t\"@type\": \"Organization\",\n\t\t\"name\": \"Llama Reads Books\"\t},\n\t\"url\": \"https:\\\/\\\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\\\/blog\\\/index.php\\\/2022\\\/05\\\/05\\\/review-if-you-want-me-close-skye-kilaen\\\/\",\n\t\"itemReviewed\": {\n\t\t\"@type\": \"Book\",\n\t\t\"name\": \"If You Want Me Close\",\n\t\t\"author\": {\n\t\t\t\"@type\": \"Person\",\n\t\t\t\"name\": \"Skye Kilaen\",\n\t\t\t\"sameAs\": \"\"\t\t},\n\t\t\"isbn\": \"\"\t},\n\t\"author\": {\n\t\t\"@type\": \"Person\",\n\t\t\"name\": \"ReadingLlama\",\n\t\t\"sameAs\": \"https:\\\/\\\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\\\/blog\\\/\"\t},\n\t\"reviewRating\": {\n\t\t\"@type\": \"Rating\",\n\t\t\"ratingValue\": 4,\n\t\t\"bestRating\": \"5\"\n\t}\n}\n\n\n\n\t\t<\/script>\n\t\t<hr \/>\n<p class=\"p1\">If it&#8217;s a new Skye Kilaen, you know I&#8217;m going to read it! While this is set in Austin (and there&#8217;s a brief mention of Knockdown), it&#8217;s not part of that series. What it is is lovely and emotional friends-to-lovers romance. Look, it says hurt\/comfort on the tin and holy crap that\u2019s exactly what you get!<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Simon\u2019s a larger bisexual guy, pleased to finally be working at a place that doesn\u2019t care about his sexuality. He has two work friends: Mina, who sits in the cubicle next to him, and Ziah, the cute geeky IT guy. They\u2019re both so sweet to the other &#8211; whether it\u2019s Ziah playing video games (badly) while Simon\u2019s in one of his serious depressive episodes, or Simon knowing Ziah\u2019s exact lunch order for all their favorite spots. When things with Ziah suddenly turn weird, Simon&#8217;s initial inclination is to blame himself. After all, that&#8217;s what his depression is always telling him. But the real reason is something he never suspected, and it&#8217;ll test their friendship, especially when the unthinkable happens.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cAll the little shit I\u2019d memorized about him, and it had never occurred to me that I\u2019d possibly started down the road of caring about him differently. Albeit in a very slow, easily spooked car.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The book is told soley from Simon&#8217;s POV, which I was initially cautious about but it works very well. Simon is initially completely clueless about how Ziah feels about him. Ziah has no experience dating and his feelings are all tangled up with religious background so he has no idea how to approach him. He\u2019s got a lot of shame over his sexuality &#8211; around sexuality in general &#8211; and still struggles with how his warm and loving family completely turned against him once his sexuality came out. Though Simon knows some of the details of Ziah\u2019s background, there\u2019s parts of it he can\u2019t comprehend, and he missteps a lot trying to provide him the support he thinks he needs. There\u2019s a lot of Simon realizing he messed up and not knowing why, and sometimes I as the reader was just as clueless. What Simon does, though, is give Ziah space after every mistake and then asks what he did wrong so he can not make that mistake again.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cWhat was I supposed to say? Ziah was my friend. If he wanted something different, he would have brought it up by now. Everyone knew I liked guys as much as anyone else. \u201cHe\u2019s my best friend,\u201d I finally said. \u201cI simply believe he\u2019d be happier <em>with<\/em> someone.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Once he figures out that Ziah\u2019s not just looking for a hookup, that he loves him, Simon has no idea what to do with that. He knows that he feels something other than just friendship for him, but it\u2019s not love. And that\u2019s not terribly surprising as it turns out that Ziah has been keeping a lot of his life from Simon. As they slowly build trust, though, Simon\u2019s feelings grow. It&#8217;s not an easy path though. Simon struggles with depression and part of it manifests as feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Part of his initial obliviousness about Ziah&#8217;s feelings for him is that he truly doesn\u2019t believe he\u2019s good enough for Ziah! Even with medication, therapy and a very supportive family, Simon still struggles, and I loved that it showed that. Nor did his relationship successfully fix him &#8211; he knows he\u2019ll have good times and bad times, and he does his best to prepare his life &#8211; personal and professional &#8211; for his more severe depressive episodes.<\/p>\n<p>To be honest, Simon and Ziah are terrible at communication and keep inadvertently hitting each other\u2019s boundaries. Simon, from a warm, loving and quite queer Czech\/Mexican family (do we get a book about Rigo???), is used to offering his &#8211; and their &#8211; help whenever a problem comes up. He doesn\u2019t understand how seeing that family can be so traumatic for Ziah, or how smothering the constant offers of help could be. Ziah is jealous that Simon, as a bi man, had a chance at a \u201cnormal\u201d life if he dates a woman &#8211; not understanding the bierasure. There\u2019s a lot of work that has to be done on both sides (with therapists and without) before they can have a relationship that\u2019s true to both of them. It\u2019s not perfect &#8211; it\u2019s messy &#8211; but it works for them. It\u2019s about loving people they way they need to be loved, not what you think they need.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Overall, this was a lovely, thoughtful and emotional exploration of friends-to-lovers. While Simon and Ziah&#8217;s path to an HEA is rocky, it&#8217;s ultimately high satisfying!<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Content notes: <a href=\"https:\/\/skyewritesromance.com\/books\/want-me-close\/#content-warning\">Author&#8217;s notes<\/a> (the author&#8217;s notes are extremely comprehensive!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If it&#8217;s a new Skye Kilaen, you know I&#8217;m going to read it! While this is set in Austin (and there&#8217;s a brief mention of Knockdown), it&#8217;s not part of that series. What it is is lovely and emotional friends-to-lovers romance. Look, it says hurt\/comfort on the tin and holy crap that\u2019s exactly what you&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8914,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"book-tag":[161,179,266,165],"class_list":["post-8958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reviews","book-author-skye-kilaen","book-publisher-self-published","book-genre-romance","book-source-book-sirens","book-tag-4stars","book-tag-contemporary","book-tag-m-m","book-tag-romance"],"acf":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/60094261._SY475_.jpg?fit=297%2C475&ssl=1","author_info":{"display_name":"ReadingLlama","author_link":"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/author\/readingllama\/"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Review: If You Want Me Close - Skye Kilaen - Llama Reads Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.llamareadsbooks.com\/blog\/index.php\/2022\/05\/05\/review-if-you-want-me-close-skye-kilaen\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Review: If You Want Me Close - Skye Kilaen - Llama Reads Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If it&#8217;s a new Skye Kilaen, you know I&#8217;m going to read it! 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