Review: Worth Waiting For – Wendy Qualls

Paul is securely in the closet.  While he doesn’t go out of the way to appear straight, he’s on the tenure track at St. Bernard’s, the same conservative Christian college he attended, and while they don’t require a statement of faith for the faculty, they also wouldn’t look kindly on an openly gay professor.  Brandon, on the other hand, is out of the closet and has spent a lot of time on the gay scene, but his romantic life has been a series of anonymous one night stands.  So Paul has that on him, at least, as he had a relationship with a guy for over a year, even though he was controlling and kept trying to push him out of his confront zone sexually.  Ten years ago, when they were both freshmen, they had a one night stand in the dorms before break, and shortly after Brandon transferred to another school, while Paul stayed.  When they meet again as part of a college IT project, it’s immediately obvious the attraction is still there.  While Brandon understands why Paul is still in the closet – he was terrified of coming out to his supportive family, so he can imagine how Paul feels – he’s still interested in a no-strings casual fling while he’s working with the college.

“My parents are pretty conservative—not as strict as some, I wasn’t homeschooled or anything, but they always did see the world in black and white. Still do. Even if I never told them why I wanted to transfer, I would have still had to wrestle with the idea that I was giving in to this compulsion for sin inside me. As long as I stayed at St. Benedict’s, as long as I kept all my lustful thoughts to myself and tried very hard to pray myself straight, I wasn’t a failure yet.”

It’s the south – where one of the first questions people ask when they meet you is where you go to church – and one of the things that haunts Paul is reconciling being a “good Christian” with being gay.  His family is quite conservative, and his POV is loaded with comments about bible studies, praying, and going to church on Sundays.  His twin sister, the person he’s probably closest to in the world, had a bad reaction to him coming out to her, and his parents would not react well at all to it.  While this may be off-putting for a secular reader, it’s just the normal cultural Southern Christian trappings, no Bible verses or “Jesus saves!” type content included.   On a weekend trip to Atlanta, Brandon takes him to his gay-friendly church, and this is when I think I finally really fell in love with the two as a couple.  I think it’s hard for people who aren’t coming from the Southern Christian perspective to realize how much it permeates everyday life, and to realize what a horrifyingly soul-crushing burden it’s been to Paul, to the point where he’s basically tried to “pray himself straight” multiple times.

The tension was lovely and the sex was hot!  Despite his relationship, Paul is pretty inexperienced and, in some ways, prejudiced, and watching him break out of his shell was lovely.  It did feel a bit like a gay sex bucket list, but it fit in the overall relationship, so I wasn’t too bothered by it.

“We’re just going to have to solve this the old-fashioned way.”

“What’s that?”

Brandon grinned. “Copious amounts of data-tracking, electronic manipulation, cyber-spying, and you and me sleeping together whenever the opportunity presents itself.”

While I enjoyed the development of their relationship, I found the plot behind why Brandon was at the college predictable, and, honestly, not very interesting.  It also seemed a bit much that Paul, who’s been pretending to be straight for his entire life, would feel comfortable walking around Atlanta with Brandon while openly holding his hand and indulging in other light PDA.

Overall, despite needing a box of tissues, I enjoyed this book immensely!